Within any personal relationship disagreements will arise, especially during the holiday season as we will be spending more time with friends and family. This is a normal part of any relationship. When I meet with couples, family members, and freinds that are struggling in their relationship, I have find that one of the core problems is poor communication. Whether the issue at hand is petty or serious is really irrelevant. What is important is how each person responds to and resolves the conflict. A person’s response and the resolution to the situation will either make or shake the foundation of the relationship. I have found that in order for improvements to occur the following techniques should be practiced each day. It takes a lot of effort but the results are worth it in the end. 1) Work on listening skills and avoid interrupting your loved one. Give them your full attention by avoiding any distractions. 2) When speaking choose words carefully to avoid being misunderstood. Always ask for clarification if you are unclear about something. 3) Detach your emotions from the conversation. Emotions can be heightened in tense moments, which leads to further conflict. Nothing will be resolved this way. If things get too emotional walk away, regroup and talk it out with logically at a later time. 4) Winning isn’t everything. Communicating with your loved one is not a game, don’t go into a argument thinking you have to win. Instead realize that true success comes from resolution, teamwork, and compromise. 5) Speak honestly from the heart. 6) Treat your loved one as you wish to be treated. 7) Realize that it takes two in a relationship. Rather then playing the blame game with your loved one, look for how the two of you can resolve the situation. 8) Rember that your veiw point is not the only view point and that you can't force someone to think the way you want them to think When using these techniques it is important to do so in an environment that is free from distraction and interruption. And most importantly carve out time for one another. No partnership can effectively work let alone flourish if you’re not spending quality time together. So set an intention to follow these tips this holiday season with your family and friends. Warmly, Brenda www.sariscounseling.com |
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CategoriesDecember 2011January 2010 JANUARY 2011 |
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